July 4th, 2014 — Happy Birthday, America!!

Theater ThursdaysHello again, my fellow geeks!

I’ve been buried under work the last couple weeks and I offer up my sincere apologies for missing the release of the latest Michael Bay assault on the senses, but I don’t think my lack of a column damaged the box-office take of that film.

Or maybe it did?

No, I’m not crazy enough to think I had any impact on it, but it might have been the sheer length of running time that slightly hurt TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION (PG-13 165 Minutes) more than anything else. In case you missed it, that flick is 2 hours and 45 minutes of non-stop abuse. I went with my FilmGeeks producer, Todd Lowder, to see the opening night advance screening on Thursday, the 26th and by the time the last act was over, I actually had a headache. I don’t say that lightly either. I usually love these kinds of films. I am a geek through and through and there is something about giant robots beating the hell out of each other that fills me with goofy joy that I can’t explain. I was filled with that joy for the first 2 hours and then I started getting wore down by the sheer amount of destruction on display. It just went on and on and on and on and it didn’t seem like it was going to ever end. You come out of this film with a mild case of PTSD.

If you’re looking for a solid story and character developement…then I can’t help you. Guys, this is a toy commercial. It started as a toy commercial 30 years ago and it hasn’t changed any.

I will say that the addition of Mark Wahlberg to the mix, taking the place of departing mental patient Shia La-Nutbar is a welcome improvement. He has charisma to burn and he makes a great action hero, even if he is teeny-tiny next to the Autobots.

I have said this in the past and it stands here: You already know if you are going to see this film. This is the fourth one and if you’re not on board, there is nothing here to change your mind. If you are in though, just bring some Advil for the ride home.

Coming up this week are a few flicks that might be interesting to you.

First up is EARTH TO ECHO (PG 88 Minutes) which stars nobody you know and isn’t made by anyone you know, but it is a shot of pure 80’s family adventure. I saw this one yesterday and I loved it. Is it a good film? Maybe, maybe not, but it’s heart is pure 80’s. It just has that feel. If you loved The Goonies, Explorers and flicks like that, you should give this one a shot.

There is also the latest Melissa McCarthy comedy TAMMY  (R  96 Minutes) but this one doesn’t have Sandra Bullock to share the load with. Based on what I’ve heard from people who have seen it as well as reviews, it is exactly what you think it is. That is either good or bad depending on your taste for that kind of comedy.

We also have the rare summer horror flick. DELIVER US FROM EVIL  (R  118 Minutes) which is another one of those dubious “based on actual events” films that always seem to be based on events that never made it to CNN.

The most interesting thing about this flick is its director, Scott Derrickson, who has been tapped by MARVEL to direct the big-screen version of Doctor Strange. This film might give us a feel for how that film will look and feel.

Well that just about does it for this week, but join me next week when we talk about APES. That’s right. Keep your eyes right here for lots of talk about those damn dirty Apes and their new flick which could be the one to beat this summer, based on early word.

Also, please check out the podcast I am hosting SOLO this week, where I talk in detail about the 25th anniversary of Tim Burton’s BATMAN.

You can find that here: www.filmgeeks384.wix.com/filmgeeks so please check it out and let me know what you think.

Until next time, Keep the Projector Threaded.